CATHY DARE
SELFLESS SERVICE FOR THE LOVE OF CHILDREN
“C’mon, this child needs to be at the front of the line,” said an exasperated Cathy Dare, appealing to get her CASA child critical mental health support following a successful stay in residential care. Cathy understands the challenge of an overburdened system. But watching the child languish, unsupported, was too much. Hearing, “Sorry, there’s a wait list.” just wasn’t going to do. “For the safety of this child, I knew I had to speak up and report if necessary, even though it was not normally my role,” she explained.
This scenario represents just one way Cathy advocates for her CASA kids. Helping ensure timely care was rewarding, but she finds even greater joy in providing unconditional encouragement and love. “It’s important to show that I care for them outside of the ‘case parameters.’ If you were to ask these children if they feel they’re my only kids, they’d say ‘yes,’ because I give them attention in a much different way. They are my main interest, my primary concern…my friends. It’s special.”
Cathy Dare is for the child.
Spend even a few minutes with her, and you recognize immediately that this CASA of nearly six years walks the walk, advocating for the children as if they were her very own. They’re not “just kids” to Cathy, they’re her heart.
“They see me as a stable, consistent friend,” she explained. “I care for them to the point that I genuinely love them, and they know it. I tell them as much, and they reciprocate with an enthusiastic ‘I love you!’ back, because they know I come into their homes not to judge or change or take away—but to hear their side of the story, to hear what happened in their life today—how it happened, why it happened, what they might change tomorrow.”
The child’s relationship with Cathy is different than any other in their life, including their counselors, teachers, doctors, lawyers, caseworkers, foster parents. “All these adults have so many others to look after,” she explained.
“I tell them, ‘I’m not here for grandma. I’m not here for mom. I’m here for you.’ It’s important they understand that, because their voice often gets pushed away. My role is to listen and understand, so the judge can hear the child’s voice—their wishes, desires, what they feel. That voice comes through me. It’s the biggest support I can give in the courtroom to help the judge make informed decisions on the child’s behalf.”
Meeting kids where they are
When approaching the CASA role, the cultural chasm can seem daunting. But Cathy embraced it, putting heart ahead of judgment in the differences. “How can you be prepared to learn that a child doesn’t understand something as simple as ‘Be at the table for dinner at 5 o’clock’, because in their world, in their words, ‘there never was a table,’ she pondered. “That’s tough. CASA training helped me navigate these differences,” Cathy said.
In other cases, Cathy’s CASA children had never been inside a Walmart or visited a library. “They were flabbergasted,” she shared. “I just never knew.” She was creative in facilitating this exposure, querying the children about their interests and then bringing them library books to support “whatever they wanted to learn or read about—novels, comics, art books,” she said. “This also allowed me to teach them about responsibility—how to take care of something that didn’t belong to them. What a great experience to understand how we can teach and share and introduce to help kids be successful.”
Always Looking Forward
“These children’s lives are our future,” she said. The child who received that mental health support thrives today, thanks in part to Cathy’s watchful eye and caring heart. “What a difference!” she exclaimed. “No more issues with anger and authority, succeeding in school. I see a lot of hope for guardianship in the near future, which will help the child go further in life, and also ensure that strong bond between the mother and child continues to be allowed,” she said.
“You are only one person, but you might be the person that child needs in order to see tomorrow more clearly—with hope. As a CASA, I can provide a glimpse at how they can advance and be whatever they want to be if they put their mind and their heart into it. I want this to be at the forefront in their little lives, so I continually encourage them with, ‘Oh, you’re so good at this…you can learn that…you’re going to be awesome one day!’
“As a CASA, I can be that cheerleader for the child—perhaps the only one they’ve ever had.”